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Catch-mywave, if you can.
Dictionary's Definition: Wave; A swell, surge, or rush, as of feeling or of a certain condition.
The blog's definition: catch-mywave; See if you can catch up with the inconsistent swells, surges, amplitudes that are happening in my vast-changing life. I'm finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15. Time flies so fast that i'm already turning 21 this year. DID YOU JUST HIGHLIGHT THIS SECTION? DONT THINK I DONT KNOW! -Alvin |
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This blog has been officially opened on April 10, 2009 and, this is gonna be my virtual barang barang garage!Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
I SERIOUSLY CANT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU SAID U GOT NO FUCKING BOYFRIEND BEHIND MY BACK U KNOW. trust me for my connections. i got 1000 friends for a god damn reason. msn someone and told someone u got no boyfriend? :) JOAN LIN. i should have seen through you. i should have. when i asked, where is your initiative to ask me out? your answer was so disappointing. "you (alvin) always ask me out mah, so i let ask me out lor." where is your initiative may i ask? Then u can happily post on facebook asking other people out. well done joan lin, seriously well done. This is how important i am to you. This blog will well serve as a mirror for you, to the day i tell u the existence of it. It reflects all that you have done to hurt me, and silently i keep quiet to most of them. And until now, i must say your ego is so high. You never admit it when you're wrong. You are so perfect, my ass. You can tell me today when quarreling over the phone that you have done nothing wrong before. i almost fainted at the biggest lie ive heard over the centuries. Even when i tell u, u hurt me accidentally, u still think its not your fault. Look, wake up your idea. and to the one i severely neglected, im so sorry. I know you care for me Jocelyn. But im so so lost now. I dont need help finding my way back home, for im just a lost sheep. Let me find my paths myself. This is by far the biggest fall i have fell and i will climb up on my own. Nevertheless, all your messages sent to my phone make me happy. Cause i know you never fail to be there. Needless whether i tell u or not. Thanks for noticing the statuses on facebook, cause Joan never does. You rock, babe :) And before i end this, Joan lin, seriously, you doubt my love for u, Doubt my trust for you. I dont know what else u doubt. You even have my masters card number on your itunes account. Its not a big deal but, im even giving u a portion in controlling my financial assets. Sometimes, i just think your brain thoughts are so shallow. You never go deeper, to look at everything with a different perspective. Always in your own direction, your own selfishness. And always in your comfort zone. Thats why u say you LOVE me ENOUGH which i obviously think its a big fat lie. Loving me from your comfort zone is not enough. hmm. i really dont know what will happen when u find about this blog. its full of the past. angsty notes, comments all about you. This is where i vent my anger in the past and im going to do the same tonight. i dont even know who still reads this blog. Anyway, i do feel better after i write in this blog. But my current mood is not angry, neither am i pissed off. Just disappointed (again). Well, part of life i guess. When we were on the phone call yesterday, you said we were drawing further away from each other (instead of the usual drawing nearer). And i so much wanted to say this, okay. game over Joan. game over. I wanted to break up with you but something's holding me back (again) everytime we quarrel, it is just so natural now. It was akward in the past to quarrel. But now you say that everynight must quarrel at least one time over the phone then can call it a day. You think i want to pick up a verbal fight with u ? c'mon. I have a injured thigh and you didnt even bother to offer to take care of me. And my friend told me he had a hairline crack in his tailbone. I think, i have a hairline crack. Cause it doesnt seem like it broke, or fracture neither is there internal bleeding. So high chances its a hairline crack. Nevermind bout all this, you wont bother as well. The only time u really showed you care is when i told u i fell and rolled 2 times on the main road with uncoming traffic being held up by red traffic lights. Thats when u called to show your concern. Other times, i felt like a piece of thrash which is worthless in your heart. Perhaps there are other times you showed your care and concern. But i cant recall all now. I hope there is a refresh/restart button in my life. Like a pokemon game. last time i used to save my game before a gym fight (boss). then i will go chiong the boss. then lose liao, off gameboy. restart i will get back to the point before i fight the gym fight. if win, then i will save :) Everytime i do something wrong, i realise your love is not so BIG enough to forgive me. So if catholics are of equal status to Christians, and i say God gave me enough Love, for me to Love you, can i also say that mother mary OUGHT to have given you enough LOVE, for you to LOVE me back? You cant seem to forgive me. I want and hope you can forgive me almost like immediately. Its not as though i cheat on you. And speaking of which. If i do marry you, and if i do cheat on you which i shouldnt. And you happen to find out, i think you will stab me with a knife. You get angry over the smallest things. I mean, there is nothing really really wrong with it, just that it gets abit annoying sometimes. yes i agree, i get angry over small things as well and yes thats my bad habit as well. But instead of telling me off and asking me whats wrong when i get angry, you get angry because im angry. You see this LOL part? I like you to be concerned about me. I like you to question me. Because i like to answer you. because i like to tell you stuffs. But ironically, you never like to question me. I thought normally girls would. But you dont :S (not as much i guess) its like the bo-hiew-about-your-boyfriend kinda attitude. When i get angry, ask me WHY. just like when u do, i ask u WHY. oh oh oh. before i end. i just want to tell you this is really stupid. me: Dear whats wrong? you: Nothing wrong larh, where got something wrong. me: Sure ah, dont say i never ask u whats wrong arh. you: yah la yah la. you: refuses to hold my hand, then dropping hints (as good as not dropping) and giving me attitude. (for half an hour of more) me: why u so like that. you: like what. Not happy with my attitude? Sorry horh, this is me. Like it or not, your choice. me: "*WTF!? ask u what wrong just now, tell me nothing wrong. Then now ka-ba-boom!?*" So wheres the transparency in the relationship? sigh. and buy u ring, dont want wear. buy u pendant, dont want wear. How to buy u carat ring next time? i should just buy you 100 bars of chocolate than to buy the pendant. At least u gain WEIGHT with chocolates. Key word : GAIN. Now that i have bought the pendant, what have i gained? =\ gained a statement from you such as, me: why u never wear pendant and ring. you: *oh, forgot lorh.* seriously, how convenient lor =\ okay, i know you're pissed off with me. or angry. or dont give a damn about me anymore. i know im blunt with my words. i know i am . but give me sometime please. i got a lot of things on hand. Joan just left me, and now shes back. I dont know how to tell you. I dont know how to tell you we've patched up. I dont know how to answer to you. I dont know if you will scold me. I don't want you to say im stupid for patching up with her. I love her you know, and thats why we got back together. my parents are calling me close to everyday asking why im not home, when i told them i have exchange students to hand keys over too. And every call they must ask me go book my driving. Im not enjoying my holidays. I really am not. I thought the box of stars i gave you would have made you happy. I thought. I thought it will bring out the message across to you that, "give me sometime, i really want a better friendship with you". Let me settle down this period of time first please. I promise not to leave you aside Jocelyn. You are my best friend and will always be. Please stay by me. i think i need to meet up with a tragic accident. then i'll make you regret when u haven spent the last 24 hours with me. dropped you 3 or 4 messages. reply only 1. might as well dont reply! i dont reply, you complain. you dont reply, i complain, u say i complain too much. what you want actually? I bet with u if some other guy like the kbox pester friend of yours text you, you sure reply.. got time facebook, no time check handphone to reply. i wont buy your lies anymore. im so pissed i dont know what to say. people fucking complain for a good cause, good reason. you say I DUN UNDERSTAND WHY U KEEP COMPLAINING. and you know what my response is? your boyfriend is fucking going through a hell of a life time with stress from every corner of school. i call, you dont pick up. nevermind. i sms, you also dont reply. lol.you say, you never check phone. That must be the biggest fat lie ever. Even if it is not, ive been complaining u dont check your phone since months ago. and what the fuccccccck did u do about it? tell me la, what the f you do about it. You push it a side and continue with life. TELL ME WHAT THE FFFFUCK you changed for me while we were together? most people tell me when they're attached. Weekends they'll go out with their boyfriends. You? happy you go out with friends, happy u go out with me. put me on a balancing beam. I think im on par to cheryl and joann. OR MAYBE i'll lose out. seriously. WEEEKENDS I GIVE U . TIME I GIVE U everything also give u. U CANNOT SEE ME CHANGE(d) for you. the whole world telling me to leave you. im holding back cause im telling them how much i love you. and what you dont understand is, i'll catch you grenade for you. throw my hand on a blade jump infrontt of a train do anything for ya, i would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brains yes i would die for u baby, but YOU wont do the same. i gave you all i had, you tossed in the thrash, yes you did. TO GIVE ME ALL YOUR LOVE IS ALL I ASK. you said you love me, you never, ever, ever did, baby. and you'll never do the same. you know, i hate it when u dont reply. especially after my second sms. it irritates me. it just shows me how much you care. |
